1. Tell us a bit about yourself Nana
Put my name under ‘the one striving to keep Jesus, real ingredients and eco-friendly in one sentence’. I am equal parts of a hard laugher and cryer. I am a business owner and the brain behind wholly kombucha and Kaia. I pick God’s truth over popular opinion any day.
2. Many young people wonder if it’s possible to walk pure in this generation of ours. Can you share with us your testimony and how God empowered you to do this?
I sincerely believe it is possible to walk purely, regardless of what generation we are a part of. God empowered by Husband and I to walk that path for 4 years and 9 months before getting married, and He can do so with anyone! After reading Eric and Leslie Ludy’s ‘When God writes your love story ‘ , and Joshua Harris’ I kissed dating Goodbye, I was fully convinced that it was NOT impossible. Reading those two books fueled my resolve to ‘keep’ myself, NOT for my Husband, but for God. That He would be glorified in EVERY aspect of my life. This was all the way back in my second year in High School. I didn’t have a solid relationship with God then, but I knew I wanted what Eric and Leslie had, and what J Harris wrote about. My Husband and I went to the same college and knew about each other for all of our four years in school. I couldn’t stand him because I thought he was racist, and just plain unfriendly—laugh out loud. We only actually started talking in our fourth year when he jumped into my conversation with a mutual friend on the final school day before our christmas break in 2012. And the rest is history. When I agreed to court him, our first ever meeting was to sit and write down a contract. Quite extreme, but also very necessary for both of us. I remember writing, “ I am not going to kiss you until our wedding day”. And he wrote, ‘ I never intended to’. I smiled so big inside like ‘no long explanations!’ So that settled that. We agreed to not put ourselves in compromising situations like: -taking him to my bedroom when he came to visit, going out to places where we knew we would be alone. Robbie (my husband) took up the task to screen every movie before we watched it. Anything that could possibly pop ideas in our head, we were very very sure to eliminate it in Jesus’ Name. Lol Uh, yes, he also told me he was uncomfortable with me wearing anything above my knee lol, so there’s that. With those foundational rules, I can speak for both of us when I say there was never a time we were tempted to, or almost did anything. We courted for 3 months short of 5 years, without a single kiss, no fondling or almost sex situations by God’s Grace. When he would come visit me, we would cook and eat and watch movies. We were definitely two people who knew we did not want to kindle a flame when we weren’t ready to light it. Yes, he’s very handsome to me. But my desire for purity was not to please him, but to honor God. And vice versa. So that was our fuel. In September that same here, Robbie gave me a ‘promise’ ring, as a symbol of his vow to keep himself for me. So cute. I think it was the one time we went to the movies in all of our courting years. He went out to get popcorn and kept asking me to eat it. I suspected nothing, and didn’t even think anything of it. I was just so into the movie, I forgot to keep eating. Then I picked up the ring, and then he whispered the promise in my ears (because silence in the movie theater), and you know…all that cute thank you with tears from yours truly. That was a special moment. All of this to say, we applied Godly wisdom to make sure that our desire to honor God was not just a desire without doing the work.
3. You mentioned having unpopular views on purity, can you kindly share with us?
My unpopular opinion is: We need to stop glorifying no sex before marriage as though it’s of higher importance than kissing before marriage. They are both fueled by lust and not in line with purity. Purity shouldn’t be mistaken for a no-sex rule. And purity shouldn’t be about how long you went without a kiss or sex. Purity isn’t compromise. It isn’t a social badge of honor. Let’s get it straight- It’s doing what is expected of us by God.
4. What one word of wisdom would you like to share with many young singles desiring a marriage partner?
Take it literally when God says acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will direct your path. For example: Godly dating has nothing to do with praying to God that you don’t fall into temptation, when you have both secluded yourself without an audience for accountability’s sake. Assess yourself and know what could trigger lustful thoughts. and then consciously avoid that.
5. Is it possible to restart a relationship on a pure note once defiled? Or do couples who are unable to restart have to break up if their relationship is causing them to displease God?
YES IT IS! True repentance is a godly act, and God honors that. I am far from perfect in my christian walk; but not our wildest shortcomings can and will cancel God’s truth about His love for us. In the book of 1 Samuel 12, when the people noticed they had wronged The Lord, they asked Samuel to pray for them that God would not punish them (let them die). Samuel simply told them, ‘yes, you have done what is wrong, but do not turn away from your God. Repent, and go back to serving Him with all your heart
„For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own.“ 1 Samuel 12:22 NIV
Our wrongdoings don’t mean we are cast out! When we are truly repentant, and desire to be better, God will not turn His back on us. After my promise to God in High School, and before getting to know my Husband, I found myself in a silly case of a relationship for about 4 months with my friends ex boyfriend at the time. My time with him taught me that my promise would take a whole lot more than just saying I want to keep myself for God until marriage. I had turned my desire to a fleshly all or nothing situation. He told me he would marry me; but could not accept my promise because a relationship without physical display of affection was very likely to fail. So I went with the flow because I also wanted to marry the first man I got together with. Within my spirit, I was never at rest in that situation. Whenever I would want to get out, our conversation would end up turning into how I was the one for him, which made it an emotional case of me not wanting to hurt someone. I knew that I knew what I had to do, but I also thought I needed someone to tell me. I would pray for God to give me a sign. He never did. I didn’t need one. I then asked my (now) pastor and his direct words were ‘you know what to do, I don’t have to tell you”. With this, I mustered courage and ended it (cold turkey, NO negotiations). There was a lot of back and forth about how the other party was broken, sad and hurt. But listen, this time, my resolve was solid and rooted, and there was NO turning back for anything! I just could not keep myself where the Spirit of God did not dwell for fear of not marrying the first man I dated, or who kissed me, or for fear of hurting his feelings. True repentance meant me walking out and choosing God’s will. I prayed into my marriage for 4 years, without searching. And God gave me His will in the form of my Husband today. I say this to say, if both parties are repentant, yes it is possible to ‘restart’. If one party is still adamant about pleasing the flesh, by all means walk out and pray for them. Don’t pray for them to change and come back to you. Pray that they will seek to honor God in their life. If you are meant to be together, NOTHING can change the will of God. I know my decision to break up, empowered me to set the foundation for my next relationship 4 years later. It’s the reason why I can humbly say my Husband and I never faced any ‘temptation’ during our 4 years and 9 months of courtship.