After my first interview with my amazing friend Kristen, a new surge of curiosity rushed through me: I wanted to know more about her, the sex industry and most of all, to gain a better understanding of one of my biggest burdens: sex trafficking. This (second) interview is a little more personal, as I seek to discover her views on the topics of love and loneliness in the sex industry; poverty, and porn as a possible catalyst for the upheaval of rape and global kidnappings.
1) My first question is, what is your definition of love? I ask because I believe that we at different points of our lives, feel lonely and yearn for someone, not just anyone, but someone special who understands us and loves us for who we truly are. Being in the adult industry, I would love to know how you blend that yearning, if you have ever felt it, with your work. Do you ever feel the need to have someone special in your life or have you closed that chapter of your life? Is your definition of love also based on something you will get out of a relationship or an abstract heaven-sent feeling that exists within a person?
I believe that Love is more than a feeling. It is a feeling coupled with action and respect, which means that you are willing to do what is best for the other person selflessly, even when it is not your first choice in life. Respect is imperative, for without it, it is my belief that a person is simply using another to make themselves feel more important or better. It differs from that first chemical reaction that is so often confused for being love.
There will be a point in time where I can have one person in my life, but now isn’t the time. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved. Love takes sacrifice and compromise along with availability and for me the availability isn’t there right now. It takes dedication and it is something that many take too lightly. I believe that if you love someone you must have the ability to put yourself aside at times and just be there for them. My life is on the road, and although I too would like that one special person, I need to do what is right for all involved. But, I do believe there are many that I that I have something that is very close to that idea. I know I have been there for them during good and bad times. I have touched their life and they have touched mine. It may not be a traditional love, but that makes it no less real. For now, I need to put my own desires to be with one person on hold, and do what is right for all involved.
2) On interviewing another friend in the sex industry back here at home, and after watching your amazing documentary—American Courtesans, I realized that money or the lack thereof, was the main catalyst for people’s involvement in the sex industry. What’s your view on this, and what in your view, should happen if such a person becomes wealthy?
Most people enter the sex trade for the same reasons most people go to work in all industries, and that is for a paycheck and for financial stability. Most who enter don’t stay forever or the planet would be teeming with sex workers. This profession isn’t for everyone. It is a profession where you must be the nurturer and the giver. Few become wealthy… few grow old as a sex workers, and many use this type of work as a stepping stone. So the idea of someone becoming wealthy is remote. However, if a person does become wealthy I believe that they have the same obligations as any other human being, and that is to give back in some way to the society or community that allowed them to do that. It can be seen historically that woman who have accomplished wealth have done just that. It makes me proud to be a part of this industry.
3) On the topic of sex trafficking, I believe there is this weird global demand for illegitimate sex and thus many innocent girls around the world are kidnapped—according to the huffingtonpost.com , Mexico experienced 105,628 reported kidnappings in 2012, whiles rainn.org estimates that an average of 237,868 people are sexually assaulted every single year—and shipped to other countries where they are treated with no dignity whatsoever. Usually the girls are always projected as the victims whiles billion dollar corporations, governments and men are seen as the predators behind these evil acts. It’s obvious that someone behind the scenes has a heavy desire for sex. So my question is, is it likely that their lust—talking about the rapists and kidnappers—is continually fueled by an excessive indulgence in pornography? Or were they born into cultures moulded to make sex ubiquitous? If not, what do you think besides pornography, a culture moulded to make sex ubiquitous and an arcane occult sexual ritual of some sort, is the catalyst that drives some men to treat women with utter wickedness?
The image of young girls trafficked is one that no one wants to see or think of. And yes there are tragic abuses that go on with trafficked persons in the sex industry as in so many other industries. I could hypothesize and nausete about why a person would behave so heinously. But the reality is if a 100 people watch a porn movie, the majority of them won’t go out and traffic a young girl or buy sex from her. So to blame the film, it would take personal responsibility from the people involved (the trafficker and the buyer). Does this mean we should criminalize sex workers and their clients to stop these abuses? No, because it is that exact criminalisation that will stop those law abiding citizens from reporting when they do walk into something they don’t want to be a part of. I always say the clients and the workers are the eyes and the ears on the streets. If sex work were decriminalized those consenting adults who participate, can then report abuse when and where ever they see it without hurting themselves. Many people are broken and poverty causes people to do things that they normally wouldn’t. Unhealthy life experiences create predators and when you bring the two together, it is easy for the interaction to produce victims.