Day in and out, sicknesses, accidents and other mysterious causes snatch the lives of our family members and friends, leaving us empty, hopeless and sometimes very mad at God. The commonest questions that floods the minds of the bereaved are, “God, why did this happen?” or “Why did you let my so-and-so die?” And in times like this, it takes more than the words “it’s going to be okay” to consul one who is bereaved. It takes a person who has been through a devastating loss, to minister to others going through the same experiences. This is why I interviewed Adukwei Naa Pappoe. She is a writer, an amazing singer, and most of all, a person who knows what it feels like to experience the loss of a loved one (her dad). Be inspired as you read this.
1) This as we can all tell is a very delicate topic. It takes the Grace of God and boldness to talk about it and I pray that God empowers you as you do. My first question to you is: How did you feel when you heard about the news of your dad’s passing?
I can’t find the words to express the deep anguish and sorrow that filled my heart, and the confusion that clouded my mind. It was simply indescribable. The pain of loss, no matter how hard you try to describe it remains a closed book.
2) Did you, at that point, feel that God had failed you?
Yes, from that moment, a million thoughts flooded my mind everyday. Thoughts of “why?, what?, why did things have to turn out this way, what if?” It was overwhelming! I felt lost and alone in a strange world. It was like life had just stopped. I threw so many questions at God and was always lost in thought about what could have been. This only made me feel worse.
3) You mentioned that your life went downhill after your devastating experience. What happened, and how did you bounce back? What drew you close to God?
Everyday presented a new battle and for THREE YEARS, I mourned my dad without allowing myself to be consoled. To me, “life would be horrible and meaningless without him around period.” I actually believed nothing good could happen for me. I couldn’t concentrate in school and I spent most of my senior high school life in misery over the loss. I turned to partying to find some happiness, but nothing could make the pain go away. My relationship with my family was on the rocks. I was bitter and unreasonable. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t let go, I constantly wallowed in the unbearable pain of loss. EVERYTHING changed the day Jesus came my way. One Sunday morning, I decided to attend the Scripture Union meetings held every Sunday at school, I previously had no interest in these meetings, but that day I believe, was destined by God. My decision to attend changed my life and a song of God’s grace and mercy floods my soul every time I look back. My heart was heavy with pain, the leader for that morning said he was going to pray for people who were mourning a loved one. I walked forward with feelings of depression, hopelessness, sorrow and despair weighing me down. It was an instant relief of all the suffering and hurt I felt. That was the last time I wept about the demise of my dad. Complete healing and an unbelievable source of empowerment to move on filled my life. There was hope again. Eleven years and counting I haven’t felt hurt by the loss since that day, rather I’m able to appreciate my dad’s role in my life and embrace the future full of hope.
4) My final question is: what message do you have for anyone going through the same challenge?
There is no comforter like the Holy Spirit. Jesus said in John 14:16 “And I will pray the Father and he will give you another comforter that he may abide with you forever.” He can take away all the pain and give you hope to live and power to face tomorrow full of faith, love and peace. Turn to Jesus for help. “Cast all your cares and burdens unto him for he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)”
If you have lived through it, then you can inspire. If you can inspire, then you can lead. If you can lead, then you can change the world. #lessonscampaign