Everybody’s got their issues ‘man’: maybe a loved one is disrespecting them; maybe a boyfriend messed up or just got another girl pregnant; maybe they are broke and are about to be evicted or maybe, their cat just died and they can’t get over the pain. People have got their issues and no matter how big we think ours are, we have no right to look down on, or downplay the significance of another person’s problems.
One of the big things I have realised about problems is this: when they hit us or whenever we are overwhelmed by them, we yearn for a person to talk to—hopefully it will be an emotionally and spiritually mature person. But that’s what we all do when we have issues, and the mistake many make, however, is to blab their problems away to people who aren’t mature, aren’t interested in listening or “have been sent by God.” I leave it as that lol. So what happens in the end is that their issues don’t get solved and even possibly get worse.
A lot of Christian folk will be quick at this point to say, why don’t you just pray to God…”as for me, I have no friends, I talk to God alone and trust no one.” Let’s be honest, nobody wants to be that lonely. God placed us on this earth to commune with Him and one another. God dwells in us as believers so that we can speak His wisdom to those afflicted, to comfort them as Paul said, with the same comfort we received from God (See 2 Corinthians 1:4). So if you have the lonely mindset, which does nothing but to make you paranoid, you may have to rethink it.
That’s the thing you know, so many have been hurt by other people that all they think about is withdrawing into their shells and taking decisions based on their pain. Sad thing about this is, such people also only advise others based on the pain they have been through: every word uttered from their lips isn’t one of wisdom but of pain and unforgivingness.
Before you open up to someone, you really need to do a check in your spirit, even as you speak. Because trust me, not everyone can deal with your pain, and not everyone has the wisdom it takes to speak to you. A person with wisdom is one who knows how to separate the emotions out of a matter, and to apply wisdom in love to whatever it is you are going through. An immature person, for lack of a better term, is the type of person who rallies with your fleshly emotions and leads you to do something that will bring you more pain. All they think about is what they went through, the pain they haven’t let go of and end up giving you the same advise that has led them down the path of bitterness. A wise person, however, begins with God and by the time they are done talking, you would feel God’s peace in your spirit as well as hear Him clearly.
This is how to know that the advise you are receiving is godly: when it aligns with God’s voice, His word and your spirit. True advise will leave you in a state of peace, with a clear direction in your spirit pertaining to God’s purpose for your life.