Relationship Vultures

Every relationship comes with it ups and downs: there are the high points and the low points, the moments of joy and the moments of pain, the moments of love and the moments where hatred briefly runs its course. Meeting and spending time with a person you love, is one of the best things that can ever happen to a person—in this journey of life—should you be willing to go through every trying moment with them. There are the good times as I said, but there are the bad times—like bad bad times—but through every experience, we all learn new things about each other and should we forgive and ask God to restore the love and joy we once had in our relationships, He can and will make even the deadest relationship flourish again.

Flying low

When a relationship gets bad—and close to death—because it wasn’t able to fight against the predators that came at it: for example, a man taking the love of his woman for granted; the vultures begin to circle round, each one hoping to finish off the relationship till it’s completely dead. The vultures are the ones who know your every problem, because you tell the world all that’s hurting you rather than praying according to God’s will.

Back in college I recall being in the position of a vulture a couple of times, being the one who some girls who had relationship problems or who were dating another guy but saw a nice person in me would come to. I recall a girl who always showed up at my room knowing that we could end up making out; she came after lectures, when my roommate wasn’t around; we would start kissing and touching then she would start talking about her problems with her man—things never went beyond this. It was clear, that what existed between us wasn’t real, because quite honestly I got closer to her so I could meet a friend of hers, but then after a while and after that first kiss, I was like “dude you just blew your chances with her friend soooo yeah…” Our little fling happened for a while before I terminated it realising that there was no future in it; but anyway it’s in the past. Back to the subject of relationship vultures.

Types of vultures

A relationship vulture could be that girl with a nice curvy body, a girl you have been trying not to get too close to because you are dating: she is that same girl who plants a warm peck on your cheek—to let you know you are amazing—on one of your down days when you and your girl are having a prolonged misunderstanding and aren’t talking to each other. A vulture could be that girl who comes over to your room to study only to find out that it’s raining heavily and for that reason needs to sleep over at your place: the girl who plants a tender kiss on your lips whiles you are asleep far away from her because you know you are in a relationship. And ladies, it could be that boy that you once had a crush on before you started dating, that boy who becomes your shoulder to cry on when you and your man are going through some ups and downs: the kind of guy who leans over to kiss as you sit next to him whiles you receive all the attention your man isn’t giving you. These are the relationship vultures!

They are people you can be very sexually attracted to, and nothing more: they are smart, very pretty, well-built and more but deep within you know you have no affection for them. They come not to start a real relationship with you but to act as a substitute to what you already have: it’s easy to tell who they are because every fibre of your being tells you that the attraction you feel is nothing but one built on hurt, boredom and isn’t genuine love. They are the final straw to the end of your marriage or relationship: the sad part is, right after the collapse of the beautiful thing you have—because you either had an affair with them or gave them the love and attention your spouse deserved—you end up with nothing: because what you went after was just a mirage, a distraction, a quick fix or rather the poison that would eventually hurt the both of you.

I have been here before as you can tell, and as I lay down to reminisce and write this message, it all became clear to me. Sometimes you are so hurt by something a person you love or are in a relationship with does to you, that you want to just pay them back—you just want to hurt them by being intimate with another person; you tell the vultures all your problems because you are hurt and vulnerable and before you realise it, you are so deep in something you never expected: it could be intimate, it could just be a stepping stone towards something more intimate but one thing is clear: your hurts don’t go away. The truth is this, whenever you try to pay back a person who hurt you by your own strength, the chances are that you need to sin first to get even. The sad truth is that in sinning, as we can all tell, you open yourself up to other hurts and problems because you went out of the covering of God.

Payback God’s way

Have you ever been so hurt that even after you claimed to have forgiven the person who hurt you, you couldn’t let go of the memories? You couldn’t stop wrestling with the thoughts that evaded your mind telling you to payback? Thoughts that made every relationship vulture look attractive? I have and as I prayed to God whilst wrestling with my hurts, He provided an answer in His word: He said:

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